i had sunday and monday off this week. and i didn't leave the house once. it's not just a matter of not wanting to spend money on gas, or not having friends in the area. i didn't even try and think of things to do. i knew i wanted to sleep in, but i squandered the days away doing that and watching movies. yesterday was the european cup final soccer game and i didn't even consider going anywhere to watch it. maybe it's okay for me to do this now, when i'm young and can be irresponsible. besides working i have no demands on me. it's such a strange feeling. even if i wanted to i couldn't be on the go all the time.
what will the rest of my life look like? what if i hold myself back, refuse to get involved in what's around me, am afraid to do things alone. i work now because i need to the money, but i hate the idea of working simply to make money. i want to love what i do. but i don't love doing anything more than i love people. so i need a job that involves people. but that doesn't exclude much. how do i find something that i want to continue doing? what is it that i want to do? i'm jealous of people who are certain of what they want to pursue. i wish i had more direction in my life.
there's so much i could do. i have mediocre abilities to do a lot of things, but not enough pull in one direction to pursue one option. i'm afraid of wasting my life; of not using what i do enjoy in a good way. i want to be able to involve all of my interests: photography, filming, writing, missions, traveling, people, reading, and so much more. it's just the problem of finding out how to do that.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, June 27, 2008
beginning
knowing me, who knows how consistent i will be in keeping up with a blog. i know a lot of people who are good at it, i'm just not one of them. so i apologize now.
with that out of the way, i'm hoping this blog will be an easier way for you to keep track of me. if you are reading this i assume it is because my monthly mass emails aren't enough info to satisfy your missing me.
and this blog is just one beginning in a long series. over the next few weeks i will be facing beginnings that include my first real out of college job, an adventure that is mostly uncertain and unknown, and traveling for at least the next two years. maybe luckily for me there are a lot of steps between today and those beginnings.
as of august 18 i will be an official member of OM. i will be in holland for two weeks of training. then i will fly to australia for another two weeks of training. so as of the beginning of september i will be living on a ship and working.
if you need more info about OM go to this link
http://www.ships.de/
if you need my ship port schedule go here http://www.doulos.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=704&Itemid=254
if you need to give any monetary gifts to be go here
http://www.usa.om.org/give.htm
with that out of the way, i'm hoping this blog will be an easier way for you to keep track of me. if you are reading this i assume it is because my monthly mass emails aren't enough info to satisfy your missing me.
and this blog is just one beginning in a long series. over the next few weeks i will be facing beginnings that include my first real out of college job, an adventure that is mostly uncertain and unknown, and traveling for at least the next two years. maybe luckily for me there are a lot of steps between today and those beginnings.
as of august 18 i will be an official member of OM. i will be in holland for two weeks of training. then i will fly to australia for another two weeks of training. so as of the beginning of september i will be living on a ship and working.
if you need more info about OM go to this link
http://www.ships.de/
if you need my ship port schedule go here http://www.doulos.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=704&Itemid=254
if you need to give any monetary gifts to be go here
http://www.usa.om.org/give.htm
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