amsterdam

i spent yesterday in amsterdam. as soon as i found that there wouldn't be an organized trip to visit the city, i began making plans to go myself. i even found 3 friends, jeremy, jeff, and rebecca, to come with me. we got someone to drive us to the train station and pick us up. and figured out costs and how to pay and all that jazz. it was a 2 hr train ride, so we made it downtown by about 10:30am. after grabbing a map, we just set off down a street. everything was narrow and old. i was excited to be in a city and with friends. then we passed our first hooker. we had wandered into the beginning of the red light district, so we headed back another way.
our first stop was a historical museum that had old paintings and household items. it told how the city grew and showed a lot of cool items like swords, shoes, tobacco pipes, and porcelain. then we got lunch at a little local bistro.
i had talked to an aussie girl who had gone to amsterdam before the conference, and she'd gone on a free tour of the red light district, so we tried to find it. but found out we'd missed the tour times. so we decided to just walk it for ourselves. the city was pretty empty when we first got there, but by early afternoon it was filling up fast. houses were so tiny and narrow. many of them look to only be one room wide, but go four stories up. it was sad walking down a canal that divided to the main streets of the red light district because there really was a heaviness and darkness. every store was a sexstore, and most buildings had curtains that covered the windows where later that evening the working girls would stand. even in the early afternoon girls were standing near places that were open during the day. just standing by windows and doorways in their underwear. i wondered how so many girls ended up in this place. i would have liked to talk to them, find out their stories and understand why. but maybe they don't know why either.
so we walked into a more modern area and then found a cafe and sat. jeff and i took pictures of strangers walking by. it was relaxing and really enjoyable.
then we walked back through the city. by this time all of the bars, cafes and restaurants in the red light district were filled with men and women sitting and waiting for the show to begin. more girls were in the windows and doorways and the atmostphere was no longer relaxed. we found a nice restaurant away from the sexshops and ate dinner. then moved to a bar where we had some last drinks before we sign anything saying we won't anymore.
we had about 9 hrs in the city and then another 2 hr trip home. Our ride wasn't there to pick us up when we arrived, but we used a guys cellphone and called to get picked up. it was an incredible day, but i was exhausted. the four of us decided that we need to tour more cities around the world together, so i'm hoping i've found some touring, walking, photographing friends to travel with me.

pictures of amsterdam are here if you're interested
also, leave comments:

Amsterdam

beginning of conference

another country entered, another step towards my next two years, another whole new experience. monday evening i flew from vienna to amsterdam. i had to spend the night in the airport because my flight got delayed and i didn't want to try and find a youth hostel in amsterdam around midnight by myself. so i slept on this giant red and white checkered shelf thing that had four different sides to it. I had a section to myself, but couldn't sleep much. i've never seen an airport be that busy all night long. no matter when i woke up and looked around, there were always people moving somewhere.
then tuesday i got picked up with a group and driven to a hotel out in the fields of holland where the GO conference is being held. now that my roomates are all here i am sharing a tiny room with an american living in england, a german and a dutchie.
every day is jam packed. meetings. prayer. fellowship. worship. training. information. meals. and more meetings. they have us in different groups for where we are going, where we are coming from and another group mixed random. so different events or meetings are with those groups. then other times it's everyone together.
it's hugely international. i think just today i've spoken to an aussie, lots of germans, a scott, a belgian, americans, a serb, some asians, an irish, and probably a whole lot more that i can't think of. it's a great feeling to be surrounded by so much variety. and i've been able to use my german and brush up on that. i like this kind of outwards focus on the world settings. everyone cares about their home country, so you get to talk about a lot of different places and hear about them.
9 days left of the conference and then it's off to australia for more ship specific training. we'll see what else comes my way.

babysteps

this entire summer has been a series and sequence of baby steps. baby steps from graduation to actually leaving Taylor. babysteps from nannying to realizing i'm not ready for kids. babysteps from settling in Michigan to a roadtrip weekend all the way down to Atlanta. babysteps from leaving America to being home. babysteps from enjoying wien to being on a family vacation. and now the final babystep is to leave home. besides actually packing my stuff in my bag, there's not much between me and that step. it just doesn't feel so little. i can't help but feel the enormity of what i'm doing: leaving home for two years. leaving friends, family, familarity. leaving it for i'm not quite sure what. to travel the world on a ship yes, but what does that even mean. sure i get to see places like australia, east timor, singapore, malaysia, cambodia, and myanmar. but will i really see them. will they teach me something. will i change. will i affect them. i've got to hope and believe that there is more to it, than just seeing the world. so i continue taking my babysteps looking only just ahead one step at a time.