babysteps

this entire summer has been a series and sequence of baby steps. baby steps from graduation to actually leaving Taylor. babysteps from nannying to realizing i'm not ready for kids. babysteps from settling in Michigan to a roadtrip weekend all the way down to Atlanta. babysteps from leaving America to being home. babysteps from enjoying wien to being on a family vacation. and now the final babystep is to leave home. besides actually packing my stuff in my bag, there's not much between me and that step. it just doesn't feel so little. i can't help but feel the enormity of what i'm doing: leaving home for two years. leaving friends, family, familarity. leaving it for i'm not quite sure what. to travel the world on a ship yes, but what does that even mean. sure i get to see places like australia, east timor, singapore, malaysia, cambodia, and myanmar. but will i really see them. will they teach me something. will i change. will i affect them. i've got to hope and believe that there is more to it, than just seeing the world. so i continue taking my babysteps looking only just ahead one step at a time.